Writing like it sounds

Why is it easier to write perfect grammar than to write hillbilly? I have no trouble with my way of talking, but only a recording does a perfect job of putting it on paper:

• Where ­– “whur”
• It is – “tiz”
• Yonder – “hander”
• Was – “wuz”
• Is not – “ain’t”
• Can not – “caint” and all the old expressions that have meanings only a hillbilly knows.

Unless the circumstances are known the sayings have no meaning at all – not like the parables in the Bible.

If a fellow struggled to accomplish something, a friend would say “Lay with ‘er!” to encourage him to keep trying.

“He shore cooked HIS goose!” meant that he had made a big mistake. Was often used to mean he lost a friend.

A good friend called me a damn side-seat driver and shore cooked his goose.

Other sayings…..

“I ain’t caught tween no rock and a hard place!”

“I just got the poop skeered outta me!”

“I’ll wring yer dang neck!”

“I don’t jump when yuh holler frog!”

“I skinned ‘em outta ‘is britches.”

“More ways ‘n’ one tuh skin a cat!”

“Hander” meant between here and yonder

“Waste not, wish not”

“Make a long nose reach” when filling one’s plate

“Live by th’ sword, die by th’ sword”

“Put that ‘n’ yer pike ‘n’ smoke hit! (expressing anger)

“Outta the fryin’ pan hen to the far!”

“Thu’ pot calling the skillet black”

“Bloods thicker’n water”

“Like a cat on hot bricks”

“So that is that!”